You know those coffee places that have those punch cards so that after ten coffees and 45 dollars later, you get one free drink? It’s always makes me feel like I’m accomplishing something when I reach that 10th punch- like all my past overpriced (but totally worth it) buttery matcha lattes have been leading me up to this moment. Whether it’s a free juice or a free coffee, I always experience that sense of joy and satisfaction- this is what I’ve been working towards.
Consciousness isn’t like that.
You don’t have a linear path that is being artistically documented by punches or stamps. Other people can’t reference a card to see how far along you are in your journey. It’s more like having the punch card but then losing it after 2 punches, and then the coffee place telling you they don’t use those anymore they have a digital points system tracked by your phone number, but sometimes the system is down so next time you go they’ll just add in some extra points for you to make up for it. The journey of awakening to those higher states of consciousness isn't clean, it doesn’t follow rules and isn’t easily trackable and certainly not quantifiable.
The faster you get ok with that idea, the more you’ll enjoy it. The less you obsess about where you’re going and sit in the presence of wherever it is that you are, the more you’ll enjoy it. So leave the punch card in this space and time- leave it to tracking how much you’re spending on your coffee habit and let how you feel, how you’re seeing your life, how you’re treating others be how your ever expanding consciousness tells you that it’s all working.