I ask myself a lot of questions- a lot of the time. It’s the easy questions, like “who am I beyond the roles that I play?”, “Why am I alive and what am I here to offer the world?”, “What is it that I need to let go of so that I be the best version of myself?”. “What do I want?”. All the easy questions that we yearn to resolve. I used to think a lot about these questions- I would try to think of the answers or come up with systems and lists to try to find the clarity so I could move forward. There was a lot of trying and a lot of effort and It didn’t work.
As I started meditating it became abundantly clear to me that my previous plan of attack was beyond ineffective. It was at that moment in my journey that I stopped trying so hard, after all it hadn’t gotten me anywhere all that spectacular. It fueled worry and anxiety more than inspiration and creation. So I started embracing the complete discomfort of just “being” and “trusting”- two words very foreign to me. Instead of asking the questions with an agenda, I just asked them. I asked them over and over, and over. And nothing happened. Until it did.
All of a sudden, as I continued meditating, I started feeling more in touch with myself and began to see glimpses of answers. These answers would show up as subtle thoughts, as things I would see in my world, as things other people would say to me without knowing they were reinforcing that subtle wisdom the Universe was whispering to me.
When I ask these questions now I envision myself casting a fishing line into the stillest water at the deepest level of my being. When we are in that state of trust that water remains still and we can feel the subtle tugs on the line. When we are “doing” and “trying” and “forcing”, I find that water becomes more turbulent, sediment is kicked up from the bottom and it’s harder to feel the subtle tug. You don’t hear the subtle whispers you hear the Universe only when it’s screaming at you. Looking back at my life, I can see so many times when I missed the whisper, when I didn’t hear the message until I was sucker punched and given virtually no choice but to get in line. Those messages, though louder, never felt as potent as the ones I’m blessed to sometimes hear now and I’ll tell you there is nothing more beautiful than that still water.